Stop the Rage and Get Results
Faced with conflict, our adrenalin kicks into gear. We get riled up, we get defensive, we get angry, and at the end of the day, the divide of the conflict widens as our backs are against the wall. But what if I told you about a different approach? What if I told you that caring about the person with whom you are in conflict is the secret to resolving your differences? Putting your heart into your problem solving can mean the difference between a lifelong grudge and growing to your full potential.
It’s natural to be defensive when you feel as though you have been wronged. Whether it’s in the boardroom when the stakes are high, in queue in a crowded store, or in the stands at a hockey tournament, when an issue or situation challenges your beliefs or who you are as a person, your fight or flight instinct drives you to put up your guard and confront the person on the other side of the conflict. In our age of instant gratification, we want problems solved NOW, and with the ease and speed of text messages, social media, and word-of-mouth, even the smallest conflict can get become really ugly, really fast.
We’re All in this Together
Not just as a coach, but as a human being, I urge you to take a different approach. When you face a difficult challenge with compassion instead of mercilessness, with a caring heart, you open the door to truly resolving conflict and setting the stage for positive relationships and proactive changes going forward. If a situation has you sitting with smoke coming out of your ears, I challenge you to put out the fire, put aside your differences, intolerances, stigmas, and anger, and find your inner compassion to look at things differently. We often look at the world around us as “the people who are with us, and the people who are against us.” It’s far more constructive, albeit never easy, to look at the world as a community of people working together. Sure, we have our differences, but we’re all human beings.
Try to resolve your conflicts and face your challenges with humanity and reflection. Remember that the angry person confronting you about this, that, or the other thing has the same basic human needs that you do. They need shelter and food — and they need to feel safe and loved and understood.
Embrace Your Powerful Compassionate Mindset
When you choose to look at every person around you, at home, at work, in public, even in the media, with a compassionate eye, you can see positives in anything you face. Don’t trivialize your differences. Listen to the other side of the coin. Try to understand where they’re coming from. Walk away from gossip and stand up for what you believe in, but remember above all else that we are all human beings.
We often think a person we may not get along with is out to get us, but try instead to look at them as someone who wants to work with you, but who just doesn’t know how. A masterful coach uses his talents, skills, and passions to guide human relationships that deliver great results for all parties. Every conflict is an opportunity for positive change. It’s in you to embrace that opportunity with a compassionate mindset that makes the world around you a better place.